Scout
08-09-2006, 02:35 PM
My BM virgin sent me an e-mail Monday that said, “I hope we have a big van because I have a lot of stuff that I want to bring to the burn.” I went over to his house yesterday to go through the mountain of stuff he planned to bring and this is what I found.
1. He packed the Adam Ant costume he purchased in 1980 for the Ant Invasion Tour. Since it still fits him and since Pirates of the Caribbean is so popular I thought it was a good idea to bring. But that’s when he asked me, “Garrrrr, have you seen Captain Jack Sparrow?” then pulled out his penis with a bunch of feathers super glued to it. I had to tell him, “That joke was funny when you told it in 2003, but it’s not so funny now, and are those the same feathers you had glued to your penis in 2003?” Ohhhhhhhh.
2. I found that he had packed his Virbro-Pussy 3000. I told him, “Dude, I know you are married and you might need this thing at home, but there about 10,000 girls and 25,000 guys that will give it up, you don’t even need to ask….honest. Just stay away from the chicks that are dressed in flannel shirts, ‘cause they will kick your ass if you even look at them.
3. FOR GOD SAKE, STEP AWAY FROM THE L-WIRE!!!! Yes, I know Ibdave told you about l-wire, but 20 miles of the stuff is a little much for YOUR BICYCLE!!! And, hell no I will not rent a trailer to pull behind the van just to hold your batteries.
4. He actually packed the 5 gallon bucket that the BM website tells you to pack just incase there is a white out. I then had to tell him that we have two 40 foot motor homes in our camp that are no more than 10 feet from your tent. You can use their facilities. Besides do you really want to sleep with a bucket of poop in your tent? Also I have seen what the Greeters do to virgins who they find with this bucket. That’s right they make you wear it on your head for the entire first day you are there. And being a stupid BM virgin I actually wore the bucket....um.....er......
5. I found his fake boobs that he was going to wear while riding in the Critical Tits Parade. I had to tell him the only guy that gets to ride in the Critical Tits Parade this year is Chai Guy, because his man-boobs are real.
Scout
1. He packed the Adam Ant costume he purchased in 1980 for the Ant Invasion Tour. Since it still fits him and since Pirates of the Caribbean is so popular I thought it was a good idea to bring. But that’s when he asked me, “Garrrrr, have you seen Captain Jack Sparrow?” then pulled out his penis with a bunch of feathers super glued to it. I had to tell him, “That joke was funny when you told it in 2003, but it’s not so funny now, and are those the same feathers you had glued to your penis in 2003?” Ohhhhhhhh.
2. I found that he had packed his Virbro-Pussy 3000. I told him, “Dude, I know you are married and you might need this thing at home, but there about 10,000 girls and 25,000 guys that will give it up, you don’t even need to ask….honest. Just stay away from the chicks that are dressed in flannel shirts, ‘cause they will kick your ass if you even look at them.
3. FOR GOD SAKE, STEP AWAY FROM THE L-WIRE!!!! Yes, I know Ibdave told you about l-wire, but 20 miles of the stuff is a little much for YOUR BICYCLE!!! And, hell no I will not rent a trailer to pull behind the van just to hold your batteries.
4. He actually packed the 5 gallon bucket that the BM website tells you to pack just incase there is a white out. I then had to tell him that we have two 40 foot motor homes in our camp that are no more than 10 feet from your tent. You can use their facilities. Besides do you really want to sleep with a bucket of poop in your tent? Also I have seen what the Greeters do to virgins who they find with this bucket. That’s right they make you wear it on your head for the entire first day you are there. And being a stupid BM virgin I actually wore the bucket....um.....er......
5. I found his fake boobs that he was going to wear while riding in the Critical Tits Parade. I had to tell him the only guy that gets to ride in the Critical Tits Parade this year is Chai Guy, because his man-boobs are real.
Scout